Trapped Soul

 

It's the mystery which makes him strange,

you fight with him, I live with him.

I don't search him under the bed,

He is sitting beside me like the rest.

He smiles sometimes,

sometimes turn off all his emotions.

He is stuck in our world,

maybe his soul craves for something.

We are scared from him,

but he himself is trapped.

Trapped in the box,

no freedom to fly.

He wants to join his family

who are soaring high in the sky.

He told me about his previous life,

how he was little when he died.

Holding his father's fingers he was going to a place far by,

He was happy to be his father's companion once for a while.

From the childhood itself, his father always kept some distance,

I am not his blood he has come to know from some sources passing by.

His mother was sweet like honey, he said with a glint in his eyes.

His mother was expecting, he was beyond

ecstatic.

The feeling of being older to someone,

made him jump like he's high.

His father said let's go for a walk,

He wore his new shoes and went out with his father by side.

It was a lovely day, birds chirping and singing in his welcome.

His father asked him to sit under the cool shade of tree,

and wait for him.

It wasn't a tiresome wait but a wait full of rejoice.

The day passed, the night came,

it was the first time I was alone at night, he recounted.

Missing my mom terribly,

I spent the night in anticipation and fear.

The day broke with the loud cooing of birds,

I cleaned myself up from a nearby stream

and went on a journey to find him.

I walked and walked,

covered the distance which I couldn't count.

With a ray of hope, I saw a road,

I ran towards it and was met with a couple passing by.

They stopped by and enquired about me,

Floan, I said. My mom calls me that.

I met them there, on that road

Maria and John, they called them.

I went with them to their home,

I eat so many things that are impossible to tell.

They were good people,

angels of gods as my mother taught.

I got my own room,

can you believe it, he asked?

It was impossible for me to imagine this tall, dark, bulky men as a child 

gleeful and happy for just a room.

I scrubbed myself hard,

I also wanted to be fair like Maria and john.

I slept like there's no tomorrow,

being a light sleeper that was something anew.

I woke up with a pretty sore body,

felt like I had run a pretty good deal.

I again was fed by them,

It was like living in paradise.

I asked if they found my father,

I was met with perpetual silence.

They left the house and locked me,

maybe to find my father. No, I am sure they would find him.

It was dark when they finally returned,

It was like angels coming back to paradise after taking care of those in need.

I was feeling sick to my stomach,

Maybe because it's the first time I have eaten 3 meals.

I went to my room to rest,

They came to check on me and brought some food.

I didn't have any appetite, I slowly threw all the food outside the window.

I slept peacefully afterwards,

when suddenly I felt a tug to my bed sheet.

I saw two dark figures hovering over me,

see how peacefully he sleeps, I heard one of them say.

Oh, it's just Maria and John checking on me.

But it wasn't the truth, it was beyond that.

At this tender age I had to swallow the bitter truth,

they weren't gods but satan disguised.

They stripped me naked,

and did what they wanted,

exploited my small body till it shuddered and went weak.

It wasn't just that, there was some lightning pouring by in this activity,

I recognised it, I was being filmed.

I knew what the camera was from Uncle Albert who is very rich and comes to meet us occasionally.

I felt dirty;dirty for the first time of my existence,

not because of my dark skin or the work I used to do but a deed done by the fair skin made my soul crawl.

I woke up fully dressed, clothes were put back on me to hide the truth which my body screamed.

I silently went to the table and eat my breakfast,

who knew that you had to sell your soul for a piece of bread.

I waited for them to go out,

As soon as they left I executed my plan for the escape.

I broke the window and jumped out of my prison,

which looked like paradise to my innocent soul.

I ran and ran in the forest,

grasping for breaths and looking back for enemies.

I was suddenly engulfed by two hands from behind,

I kicked and punched till my small body collapsed.

After hours and hours, I finally opened my eyes,

they are finally gone; I have finally escaped, I said delighted.

I tried to move forward but got stuck in something and fell down.

I looked down to see my obstacle

to find my own body lying in a pool of blood.

I was dumbstruck,

I finally got my freedom but at what cost.

I cried for that small innocent boy who died;

 died because his own father left him, died because the white skin corrupted and trapped him.

I sat there for long hours, one tear trickled from his eyes.

I started my journey to find my family,

to just meet the new member of the family

and wish them good bye.

Finally after a long time floating in the sky,

swimming by and by 

I finally reached my house.

It wasn't the house which I had left,

truth to be spoken it wasn't house at all,

but just remains of that house.

I saw my old friends who have became souls like me,

I was informed about what happened to my family and friends.

They were forced out of their houses,

beaten, exploited, raped, tortured.

Why? because we have black skin.

My whole family was swiped in one go,

the family whom I knew from years suddenly just vanished.

I had became a big brother, I had got a little sister,

she is taken by those people.

Burdened from all the information and emotions,

I sat outside the remnants of my house.

Tracing back all the memories,

weeped till my eyes hurt.

Gathered myself and saw into my house,

I found a locket, the locket of my mom.

I picked it up and held it tightly in my fist,

but it slipped through my hands

I tried and re-tried to take that locket but failed.

I have lost them, I finally came to the terms that I have lost them forever.

I went with my friends, travelled around the world in order to find my ray of sunshine.

It's been years, unable to find her

I took shelter in your house.

Your house somehow reduced 

the loneliness of my soul.

I am not a demon but a trapped soul,

in pursuit to find someone in this world of the unknown.

-Shruti Upadhyay