To say or not to say

 That's the very question I ask myself when I try to tell someone the things which effects me the most, which is the probable reason of my overthinking and day dreaming. Perhaps I want to achieve that something in my dreams which I know for sure is near impossible in real life. Why I am unable to tell the secrets kept deep inside my heart to someone? Why can't I use a shoulder, a companion to hear me out instead of shedding silent cries in the gloominess of night? Perhaps because whenever I trust someone they betray me in the least expected way. I am scared what if the person after leaving me don't respect my privacy and spill out my secrets to everyone. The other reason would be fear. Fear of being looked down. What if after hearing my secrets that person snatches all the respect that they had earlier for me, what if i am not accepted by society because of my secrets? It's not very easy to talk about the things which are too difficult to even think. We all know we are scared, doubtful and kind of fear about the society's response on our secrets. I would never say it's easy to say it out loud, to say it without putting societal filter. We do omit a lot of stuffs which affects our mental health just thinking what will people say. 

Even though I am sitting on a chair infront on my psychologist I am unable to put out the words explaining my emotions and thoughts. Even though I know my secrets are safe with the person, the fear is there at the back of my head.